Sinfully Sweet
by Vanilla - Sama
Summary: AU: Misaki and Usui are the lovey dovey type of couples, living together, so in love all the eyes are set on them in envy. And Misaki enjoys spoiling Usui everyday, everything seems perfect on the outside. But why is Misaki always crying? What's the reason behind her sorrow and scars? OOC
1. The Beginning Of The End

"In the end we were all humans, drunk on the idea that love only love could heal our brokness. But now I understand the words to the song, Love Hurts. Love hurts, Love scars, Love rules in Mars. I really learned a lot, really learned a lot- Love is like a flame- It burns you when it's hot. Love hurts, Love hurts."

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"Honoka! Send me those recipes fast! I'm almost done here" said Misaki talking on the phone.

"Sure! I just sent you a mail, are you going to be alright? Want me to help you prepare the meals?" replied Honoka on the other side of line.

"Of-course I'm going to be fine! It's my special day after all. I have to do this by my own"

"Ehhh... how nice! I want to get a boyfriend too!" said Honoka pouting.

"Hehe .. yeah! It's really great." chuckled Misaki cheerfully.

"Well lover girl I have to hang up now, costumers are being pushy, arggh!" and quickly she hung up.

A wide grin couldn't leave Misaki face as she was cooking "ahh! I must be the luckiest girl ever!" said Misaki thinking loudly. Misaki took a fast glance outside the window it was already late afternoon the sun was about to go down any second from now.

"I have to hurry and dress up! Usui must be heading home now" said Misaki panicking doing the final check up "Miso Glazed cod check! Chicken Chashu is here too, Yakisoba over there and Daifuku." stared Misaki at the table after placing the plates neatly along with roses and candles.

"All is ready! And the cake too" grinned Misaki happily rushing into the bedroom to change her clothes.

Shortly Misaki was ready! She wore a short crimson dress let her silky hair down with cute bangs sliding down her face, everything was perfect to celebrate their anniversary.

"It's been three years already since we started to live together" thought Misaki glossing her lips. Misaki stared long at her self in the mirror trying to perfect everything about the way she looks for tonight daydreaming about how she will make Usui happy after a long day of work.

However, the night had already coverd the sky, the moon was a full one shining brightly in the bleak sky. The clock was ticking and ticking and Usui isn't home yet.

"Where did you go?" wandered Misaki looking at the clock it's 10 pm Usui should have been home hours ago. "I'll try and call him" said Misaki in worried tune.

"The number you're calling is unavailable please try again later .. beep beep beep .. the number you're calling is unavailable please try again later .. beep bee .." Misaki hung up in annoyance of that repeated massage.

"Ahh! I can't reach him on his phone! Did something happen? Usui are you ok?" sighed Misaki having a hell of negative thoughts running wildly in her head "no no! He's just busy, I'm sure he will be here soon" said Misaki desperately shaking the bad thoughts away.

However, the clock had rung alerting midnight arrival already, Misaki sat down in depression leaning her head on the table.

"Usui ... I even made all your favourite meals" said Misaki touching the cold plates starting to feel a bit sorry for her self "maybe he just forgot about our anniversary" and a tear rolled down Misaki cheek silently staring at the ticking clock. The dark quite room seemed much colder than forever making Misaki shiver in loneliness.

"No he's busy! He's just busy, he's busy , I .. I know that he's busy" repeated Misaki over and over again trying hard to convince her self that Usui is probably busy enough to not show up on their anniversary day. Misaki clenched tight to the small decorated box in her hand tight, the gift she bought for Usui.

"He's just busy" thought Misaki rubbing her teary eyes and finally falling asleep waiting for Usui to come and fill the emptiness to light the darkness.

*creak*

Usui slowly opened the door , getting inside startling Misaki.

"Ah! Did I wake you?" asked Usui gently pating Misaki hair.

"Usui!" gasped Misaki in joy "why are you late na? I was so worried and today is .." Usui interrupted Misaki pulling her closer to him.

"I'm so sorry my baby! I had to stay late in the office to finish my work" said Usui kissing Misaki cheek warping his arm around her waist.

"It's ok! I'll heat the dinner again" smiled Misaki getting out of Usui warm hug.

"Ehh? dinner? no need Misa chan! I had dinner in the office"

"Ehh? but today .. today .." said Misaki feeling sudden sharp pain twisting inside her.

"Hmm .. today is?" wandered Usui adding "oh! by the way , why are you all dressed up? did you go out earlier?"

Misaki eyes widened in bitter shock the moment she heard that simple line.

"He forgot! Usui forgot!" whispering voice kept on shouting in Misaki head "he forgot! he forgot!" again and again repeated that harsh voice, making Misaki freeze in her place.

Misaki clinched tight to her throbbing heart feeling the whole world shaking around her sinking in total darkness, Misaki closed her eyes took a deep breath trying her best to hold her tears from falling down.

"Y .. yeah I went out. Hehe I forgot to change my clothes back" she forced a smile covering up her shaking voice.

"I see! ahhhhh! I'm dead tiered! are you coming to bed?" asked Usui already walking half the way to the bedroom.

"Ju .. just a second!" said Misaki listening to Usui footsteps getting farther and farther, as the sound of Usui's steps vanished without any warning tears rushed out of Misaki eyes.

In just a matter of seconds all the plans the sweet fantasies everything was crushing down leaving Misaki throb in agony. Misaki slowly started to clean the table lifting up the fancy yet cold plates the meals that Usui likes the most. Misaki couldn't control her tears nor the pain she felt everytime she breath.

Every plate was perfectly made and filled with Misaki love but in the end everything was thrown in the trash by Misaki along with the gift she had bought. Slowly Misaki walked toward the bathroom her body was shaking her legs were wobbling she could barely make it through the short dark hall.

Misaki stared at her self for a second, pale face, red eyes, running down mascara and a broken heart. Misaki trembling fingers wiped away the fallen tears again and again and again but no matter how hard she tried the painful tears wouldn't stop.

"I .. I'm .. I'm so stupid!" said Misaki in shaken voice not believing how she got all excited by her self and her tears fell even more she was weeping painfully alone unable to speak her mind to Usui at all. Misaki clenched tight to the sink her wobbling legs had just betrayed her, she couldn't stand any longer. Misaki fell down on the floor shaking in tears.

"So what? it happen all the time! So what if he forgot? he still loves me! so wh... aghh!" Misaki tried hard to cheer her self and ignore the pain but it wasn't that easy after all.

"So what? so what? so what?!" repeated Misaki in hysterical way holding her wrist scratching it roughly peeling her skin off unconsciously.

"Haaa! haaa .. ha" panted Misaki heavily staring at her peeled off skin "ouch!" said Misaki crying scratching her skin more finally allowing the blood to drop out slowly.

Quickly she stood up wobbling searching on the shelve for any sharp tool, still scratching her own skin repeatedly. Misaki eyes fell on a small razor was neatly put down next to the mirror, Misaki shaking hand reached the razor snatching it away.

Misaki silently sat down in the corner wipeing her tears and slowly she pressed the sharp razor against her wrist and started to cut without thinking Misaki kept on making wounds on her wrist over and over again. In seconds the blood started to flow in a rush covering Misaki wrist dripping down making a tiny crimson lake on the white floor.

Misaki panted heavier in pain staring at her blood dripping down, gently she twisted her finger drawing a small heart with Usui name in it with her own blood over her bleeding wrist. Slowly Misaki shaking body started to calm down with every drop of blood that fell down as if the scars and blood knew how to cruelly calm Misaki. Misaki released a sigh of satisfaction crying in silent staring at her bleeding wrist.

"Misa chan .. Mis .. Misa . wake up .. Misa .." a gentle voice echoed in Misaki ears, making her to open her eyes slowly rubbing it "Usui?" said Misaki sitting up.

"Yes Usui, good morning sunshine" said Usui tenderly kissing Misaki lips.

"Go .. good morning" she said blushing deeply.

"How cute! you still blush everytime I kiss you" chuckled Usui softly caressing Misaki messy hair.

"Sh .. shut up baka!" said Misaki in shyness hiding her face behind a pillow.

"Hai hai! now get out the bed sleepy-head chan! I made breakfast" and he walked out the room waiting for Misaki.

Misaki washed her face, and stared at the mirror for a second "thank god Usui didn't notice my red eyes!" sighed Misaki using eye drops trying to ease the redness "ah! no use!" said Misaki annoyed touching her wrist and it was totally in a bad shape, scars were everywhere along with the clotted blood it just looked horrible. Misaki hands shivered in terror at the sight of her injured wrist.

"W .. what have I done?" shoke Misaki roughly, putting her wrist quickly under the running water panicking scrubbing her skin trying to clean the frozen blood away, and slowly pale blood started to go down the sink giving Misaki the cold feet.

"What the hell did I do?" and suddenly the urge to vomit rushed her making her to puke feeling terrified and grossed out at the same time of her self.

"Misaki baby are you ok?" asked Usui standing outside the door.

"Y.. yeah! I'll be out in a minute" replied Misaki quickly, and she started to clean the sink washing the blood away and then putting on a wrist band hoping that Usui wont notice the cuts.

In seconds Misaki walked into the living room and her eyes widened in surprise. A typical Japanese meal was set on the table.

"Wow! did you make all those by your self Usui?" gasped Misaki completely taken by the well-organized table.

"Yup! just for my princess Misa" smiled Usui cheerfully, Misaki heart skipped a few beats all the pain the tears the suffer vanished away! Usui sweet smile was enough to put Misaki back in heaven.

"Awww! thank you sweetheart!" dashed Misaki into Usui's arms.

"Anything for my Misa! as long as you're happy" said Usui pinching Misaki rosy cheeks "now hurry and eat Misaki , I have to go!"

"Ehh? you're not having breakfast with me?" asked Misaki in doubt.

"Ah! gomen baby! I'm really late, I got to go now" quickly he grabbed his laptop , kissed Misaki forehead and left. The wide smile upon Misaki face faded once again she's alone in that big house.

"Itadakimasu" said Misaki holding the rice bowl staring outside the window "hmm.. the weather seems nice today .. I give up! I forgive Usui for forgetting our anniversary! I can't help it, Usui is just so sweet!" grinned Misaki ignoring the merciless thoughts that kept on poping into her head, ignoring her throbbing heart.

Broke the awful silence the sound of Misaki's phone ringing.

"Hello.." answered Misaki the phone.

"Hi Misa chan! it's me Sakura! where are you now Misa?"

"Oh hi Sakura! umm .. I'm at home right now"

"At home?! are you kidding?! what about us meeting in the cafe?" shouted Sakura loudly into Misaki ears.

"Ehh?! I'm sorry I totally forgot!" panicked Misaki.

"Just don't be late! everyone is here" and she hung up.

A depressed sigh escaped Misaki lips "I don't really want to go, ahh! what should I do?" and she stared at her wrist band in total slump.

Later Misaki found her self at the cafe after all.

"Misa chan over here! over here" waved Sakura cheerfully.

Misaki soon noticed and sat down smiling.

"Hey! what took you so long? don't tell me that boyfriend of yours again was the reason" said Honoka.

"Ah .. ehh .. no no! I just had to clean up" replied Misaki.

"Ehhh.. yes! by the way how did your romantic dinner go yesterday? did Usui kun like the food?" asked Honoka wanting to know eagerly.

Misaki heart quivered in painful way pushing her to the limit almost wanting to cry "uh .. it was .. great! Usui was .. really h.. h.. happy" said Misaki forcing a smile refusing to look weak in front of her friends.

"Ahhh! that's so heart warming! god! get me a boyfriend too! ne ne Sakura did you know? Misaki used all her saving to buy him an expensive watch as a gift!" said Honoka.

"Aww! really? Usui kun is so lucky!"

And the girls around Misaki kept on talking and talking about how lucky Misaki is, while Misaki just faked a smile nodding her head agreeing to everything but her throbbing heart and wounded wrist had another kind of story to tell, a story about how painful and cruel last night was, a story about how sad and lonely she really is.

"Ah! that reminds me I saw Usui kun last night at a restaurant with some pretty girl" said Sakura.

"Ehh? really?" asked Honoka excited as ever, making Misaki to finally realize what Sakura is saying.

"W .. what .. what do you mean?! when?!" asked Misaki in sharp tune surprising everyone.

"Umm .. around 10 pm maybe? I'm sorry Misa chan! I didn't mean anything with that, she's probably just his co-worker" said Sakura smiling nervously.

An awkward silence covered the table for a minute while Honoka and Sakura stared at Misaki in worry.

"Y.. yeah! I know! I just remembered Usui already told me about it" said Misaki with uneasy smile upon her pale face "umm listen .. I got to go now Usui will be home soon" and she started to walk away. As soon as Misaki walked outside her friends sight she leant against the wall panting roughly.

"H .. how come? why? how?! Usui said .. he said .. he said he was at the office the whole time! how come Sakura saw him?" said Misaki in a shaken voice confused trying to understand what's going on. Misaki legs started to shake roughly along with her whole body, it was so hard to even breath.

"Ehhh .. maybe he's .. Usui is .. cheating on me?" gasped Misaki covering her mouth with her trembling hand, walking slowly in the crowded street bumping into people.

"He's cheating on me? Usui is .. he doesn't love me? he's .. " painful thoughts run wildly inside Misaki mind, refusing to go away, refusing to show Misaki any taste of mercy. "No! no! I trust Usui! I love Usui so much ... I .. I .. please! so please! please god make him love me too!" said Misaki desperately wipeing away the tears.

"I want to hear Usui voice .. now! now!" shouted Misaki in her thoughts running fast toward home with one thought hanged harshly in her head "please let him love me too!"

Shortly, Misaki pushed the door and run into the living room, she forgot her cell on the table, Misaki quickly held the cell and started to dial up Usui number.

"The number you're calling is not available please try again later .. the number you're calling is not available please try again later .. the number .. beep beep beep"

Misaki heart kept on beating fast and faster everytime she heard the annoying massage "pick up Usui! please!" said Misaki desperately falling on the floor waiting for Usui voice to suddenly get through and tell her that everything is ok! but that didn't happen.

Misaki laid down on the floor as cold as ice having all kind of horrible thoughts crushing into her mind "he's cheating on you! he doesn't love you anymore, he's cheating on you! Usui never loved you" and it kept on spinning into her head over and over and over again without an end causing Misaki a terrible sharp pain.

"Shut up! shut up! shut up!" shouted Misaki clinging to her head trying to cover her ears not wanting to listen anymore! but the voice got even louder than before echoing harshly into Misaki mind.

"Shut up! shut up! please!" said Misaki screaming and then throwing her cell away crushing the vase next to her. "He loves me, Usui loves me, he loves me , Usui only loves me, me just me!" repeated Misaki over and over and over again painfully trying to convince her self that Usui isn't cheating on her.

"Only me that he needs! he can't live without me" giggled Misaki creepily scratching her wounded wrist brutally causing it to start bleeding again. "Usui is only mine!" smiled Misaki staring at her blood slowly dripping making more woundes by scratching her skin. The sudden sound of the door getting open pulled Misaki back to her sanity.

"Ehh Misaki? what are you doing in the dark?" said Usui turning on the living room lights and he got shock by Misaki messy creepy view. "Misaki are you ok?! why are you crying?" dashed Usui hugging Misaki tight.

"L .. l .. last night .. w .. where .. have you been?" asked Misaki in shaken broken voice.

"Eh? what's with that weird attitude?"

"Just .. where have you been? answer me!" shouted Misaki crying hiding her left bleeding wrist behind her back.

"Geez! what's gotten into you? I told you I had to finish some work at the office" answered Usui calmly.

"Lying .. you're lying .. " said Misaki shaking clenching tight to her heart trying to ease away the pain.

"I'm lying?"

"Ye .. yes! Sakura saw you with .. a girl somewhere" said Misaki desperately looking at Usui hoping with all her heart that he's not cheating on her.

"Oh! and you believed her?!" snapped Usui flipping his hair.

"No! I .. I .. I .." but Misaki couldn't answer to that , it's already confusing and painful enough.

"Oh my god! you actually believed her! oh my god! I can't believe it!" said Usui angrily walking away.

"W.. wait Usui!" yelled Misaki running after him, but Usui already put his jacket on saying "I can't stay with you! I can't sleep next someone who doesn't even trust me"

"No wait please! wait! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" wept Misaki clinging to Usui arm.

"You've hurt my feelings Misaki" said Usui with hurt look leaving the house.

Misaki sat down in the dark corner crying harshly holding her cell , calling Usui over and over again but everytime he wont pick up making Misaki sink down in loneliness and depression quietly at the corner.

"I'm sorry .. I'm sorry" cried Misaki holding her wrist scratching it more enjoying the touch of her warm blood, unable to forgive her self for hurting Usui.

"I love you more than anything else" whispered Misaki sending a text message to Usui.

"I'm going back to my mom place for a while, please come back home. Don't skip your meals and don't overdo your self.

I'm deeply sorry .. I love you"

However, it's been a week since Misaki left the house and went back to her mom place in Hokkaido. One week of loneliness and tears a week without talking to Usui, a terrible week filled with sorrow and scars. Finally Misaki decided to go back home, to Usui and apologize again.

Misaki stared long at her self in the mirror before going out. A couple of sad eyes pale skin and a desperate smile "I'm sorry .. I shouldn't have doubted you Usui! I'm sorry baby I really trust you with my heart" practiced Misaki her lines over and over again to make her apology perfect. Misaki glossed her pale lips put on her black shades to hide her swollen eyes and went out, Misaki hands were shaking , her heart was throbbing in fear but down deep she knew that Usui will forgive her, because he simply love her.

Shortly, Misaki was already in Tokyo , heading home but before that she had to make a quick stop at the supermarket to get some vanilla pudding.

"Hehehe .. Usui is surly going to be happy" grinned Misaki buying Usui favourite pudding.

In seconds Misaki was getting inside the house.

"I'm home!" said Misaki walking in searching for Usui but something strange caught Misaki eyes.

"Ehh? this isn't mine" said Misaki staring at a stylish leather boots, set down next to Usui shoes, a sudden sharp pain twisted Misaki heart as she stared at the boots freezing in her place.

"**Cheating .. cheating .. doesn't't love you anymore** .." these harsh thoughts echoed into Misaki mind roughly as she slowly walked through the short hall, and out of all days today the hall seemed so long to Misaki causing her sharp endless pain.

Finally, Misaki was standing outside the bedroom door which wasn't completely closed , Misaki was ready to go in when she glanced Usui at the edge of the bed.

"Usu ..." gasped Misaki not completing her words as her eyes fell on something terrible!

At the other side of bed next to Usui there was a beautiful girl smiling cheerfully! and then the view got even worse followed by Usui kissing that girl gently.

Misaki didn't quite understand, as if her brain short-circuited and needed to be

rebooted. Around her, everything was in fast-forward while she was motionless in

the middle of it all. How could this

happen?! how?! why?!

Misaki head were spinning , nothing made sense , nothing seemed to matter anymore! the lines Misaki practiced over and over again sounded so pitiful echoing in Misaki's head, the vanilla pudding .. the tears the joy .. the sweet words, the love, everything run merciless into Misaki eyes in a quick painful flash back.

"I ... I .. Just died!" said Misaki softly shaking.

***Doki .. Doki .. Doki* **her heart thumbed quickly.

.**. To be continued** ..

What will happen to Misaki now? How far is she willing to go to be with the one she love the most?

Lets find out in the next chapter :)

**A/N **

**Thanks so much for reading my story ^^ I hope you all liked it :)**

**And sorry Usui kun x3 I made you a bad guy hehe :3**

**Anyway, reviews and follows are most appreciated :)**

**Take care guys ^~^ love you all x3 .**


	2. Can't Stop Don't Stop

*Doki .. Doki .. Doki .. "

Misaki heart pounded fast crushing her inside with awful sharp pain, unable to move Misaki shaking quietly stood there watching Usui kissing another girl, that simple! he was kissing that girl throwing away everything that ever meant to Misaki.

The tears rushed out Misaki eyes painfully sending her soul to the depth of hell, destroying every single part of what's left of her shattered heart.

"W .. w .. what should I .. do?" whispered Misaki losing control of her body cruelly forced to watch Usui her most beloved kissing someone else, Misaki whole body had started to shake, her legs were wobbling she felt dizzy still frozen in her same spot.

"Hurry .. I have to hurry .. I have to hurry and leave! I have to .. I have to .. I .. I .." said Misaki to her self trying hard to pull her self together and leave. Unconsciously Misaki turned around and quickly run outside the house.

Misaki rushed outside weeping roughly , feeling so much pain that no word is enough to describe it, in less than second her whole world fell apart, everything she had dreamt of hoped for was meanless, everything had died the moment Misaki saw that terrible scene.

"I can't believe it! I can't believe it! how could you?! why Usui? why?!" cried Misaki hard still not believing what she saw with her own eyes, a part of her refused to accept the bitter fact that Usui is cheating on her.

Gently the rain drops started to fall down softly washing away everything with it, but Misaki pain was much greater than anything else it couldn't be washed away that easily. Misaki aimlessly run under the rain weeping harshly forgetting the existence of everyone else.

"No! no! no!" shouted Misaki shutting her eyes painfully as that cruel scene kept on playing in her head over and over again. With her eyes closed and her heart broken into thousand of pieces Misaki run wishing with all her heart that what happened just now was just a dream, a very bad dream that she will soon wake up from to find Usui right by her side telling her that everything is ok.

Still in denial Misaki wobbling sat down on a bench on the road side. Everyone had hurried up to take cover from the heavy rain except Misaki who sat pitifully crying roughly under it.

"Why?! why?! why?!" repeated Misaki hysterical crying, trying her best to understand why would Usui do this kind of horrible thing to her.

"You don't love me anymore? did you get tired of me? I'm not enough?! why? why?! why?!" cried Misaki even more terrified by the idea that Usui had stopped loving her "I'm sorry Usui! I'm so sorry! please love me! please!" said Misaki desperately looking up to the sky getting completely wet by the heavy yet gentle rain, it almost felt as if the sky was weeping sympathizing with Misaki maybe trying to wash the pain away.

"If Usui .. knew that I saw him he will leave me for sure" said Misaki in shaken voice clenching hard to her aching heart "no! no! please don't leave me!" she cried panting heavily hardly breathing , it was just way too painful to even breath "everything is ok! everything .. is .. if I pretend that I don't know .. If I .. If .. Usui wont leave .. Usui wont go away .." said Misaki wiping her tears away deciding to step on her pride, ignore her brain and sense and play the fool by pretending that she doesn't know and complete her withering relation with Usui. In silence Misaki kept on crying for hours and hours under the rain unable to move still unable to believe totally drenched by the rain, till it was night already.

"Unh.. what a gentle warm hand .. it feels save" thought Misaki for a second.

"Misa .. Misaki .. are you awake?" said a fuzzy gentle voice.

"Ehh? Usui .. Usui voice .." and slowly Misaki opened her eyes to find Usui's face right above her "ehh?! Usui?!" gasped Misaki looking quickly around her trying to recall what happened "w.. where am I?" asked Misaki sitting up on the bed.

"Ah! don't move around so much, you still have fever" said Usui gently pushing Misaki on her back again adding "you're mom called me , she was so worried about you"

"Ehh .. fever?" touched Misaki her forehead still not quite sure of what's going on.

"You're mom has left to take care of some relatives business, that makes the two of us alone" grinned Usui playing with Misaki bangs tenderly.

Misaki heart twisted with a sharp pain for a second, she remember! Misaki remember it all that sweet person over there .. Usui .. her lover .. kissed another girl.

"How long have I been sleeping?" asked Misaki trying her best to act normally, she refused to act weak and let Usui know that she saw him.

"For two days na"

"Ehhh? two days?!" gasped Misaki sitting up again. Gently Usui crawled on the bed next to Misaki pushing her down again "take a rest Misa! I'm not leaving till you get better" Usui smiled brightly caressing Misaki hair tenderly.

With every touch of Usui's gentle hand Misaki heart would shiver in desperate joy, the more he touched her the more she felt save and warm the more her heart thumbed in awful pain, Usui cruel sweetness made Misaki die silently a thousand time over that warm bed for she knew that he didn't love her anymore. Staring at Usui calm face , listening to his sweet whispers draw a smile upon Misaki face ignoring her sense trying to forget her pain.

"Well, I'm going to cook something for my Misa, you stay her and focus on getting better kay?" smiled Usui get off the bed.

"S .. stay .. please stay .. I don't need anything .. stay with me" tugged Misaki Usui's arm staring at him desperately reaching for his kindness to mend her fool heart.

"Ok!" he answered hoping on the bed again pulling the blanket over the both of them, cuddling Misaki tightly. Like a fool Misaki buried her face into Usui chest, although she could clearly smell the perfume of another woman on him she closed her eyes and just listened to Usui's beating heart that slowly eased Misaki pain.

Silence took over the room for a moment , just the two of them cuddling warmly.

"I'm sorry Misaki" apologized Usui suddenly out of the blue making Misaki heart beat very fast mixed with awful pain and fear.

"No! Usui will break up with me! he found out!" shouted Misaki in her thoughts terrified shaking roughly "no please! I'm sorry Usui! I'm sorry!" said Misaki fast already on the verge of tears.

"Ehh? why are you apologizing? I'm the one who made you cry! I shouldn't get mad and leave like that, I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry" he apologized over and over again kissing Misaki forehead and both hands gently seeking for her forgiveness.

Unconsciously, Misaki tears started to fall down harshly, Misaki wasn't sure her self why she cried, is it because of Usui sweetness? or is it because she knew? Misaki knew very well that it's all just a lies.

"Now now! don't cry Misa, I'm sorry" said Usui holding her closer to his chest adding "you're shaking! are you cold?" and gently he held her both shaking hands softly started to blow in them staring at Misaki with those merciless yet sweet green eyes. Slowly the warmth of Usui's body had sneaked into Misaki body making her cry even more , dying inside by that cruel sweetness.

"Why are you being this sweet to me? how could you? after what you have done! how could you?!" questions like that kept on dancing in Misaki mind refusing to let her have peace not even a brief moment of it.

"Tell me you love me Usui" said Misaki wiping her tears away begging for more sweetness of Usui.

"I love you Misaki my cute princess" said Usui wiping away Misaki tears "don't cry please! I'll never allow you to cry again Misaki, you mean everything to me. I love you , I love you I love you so much" repeated Usui over and over again whispering softly into Misaki ear.

Silently Misaki lent her head over Usui's chest, closed her eyes and kept on hearing Usui sweet words sinking tenderly into her throbbing heart, she listened to Usui sweet lies comforting her over and over again till the point that she couldn't breath anymore and finally falling into deep sleep hanged by Usui warm voice.

Later that night, Misaki fever had gone worse making Usui to act quickly and stay up all night taking care of her till the fever slowly went down. Although Misaki wasn't really conscious she could still feel Usui's gentle hand touching her which made her pitifully happy.

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Somedays later ;

"Usui wake up! wake up na! up!" shouted Misaki playful jumping softly over Usui who cuddled up in the blanket refusing to wake up.

"Come on baby! wake up already, I made breakfast" said Misaki on top of Usui poking his cheeks.

"Ten .. just ten more seconds" replied Usui in very sleepy voice.

"Come on lazy-head! you're going to be late" pouted Misaki still poking his face, but she didn't receive an answer Usui just covered his eyes with his hand. Misaki stared at Usui sleeping for a second "so cute!" chuckled Misaki softly adding "Usui Takumi! if you don't get up now I'm going to eat you!" and she waited for any kind of reaction from Usui but still he was sleeping soundly.

"itadakimasu" said Misaki ready to take a bite of Usui when suddenly Usui opened his eyes pulled Misaki even closer and stole a kiss from her pale pink lips.

"How's that for a morning taste?" grinned Usui.

"B.. baka!" blushed Misaki falling off bed caught by surprise.

Misaki fell softly on her back right beside the bed "ouch! you were awake the whole time?" asked Misaki in embarrassment.

"Yup! it's always worth having my baby spoiling me early in the morning" smiled Usui pulling Misaki up putting her on her feet again "I'm going to take a shower first" he continued walking away.

Misaki for a brief second stood still in her place "you're so cruel Usui so so .. cruel" whispered Misaki holding her wounded wrist fighting the urge to cry , feeling bitter sweet pain because of Usui tenderness yet miserably happy holding into Usui fake sweet words. "No no!" shoke Misaki her head softly "he loves only me!" smiled Misaki bitterly convincing her self with nothing but a sweet lie.

Shortly, Usui had finished the shower heading to the table in his black elegant suit "I'm done, did you wait long?" asked Usui pulling a chair sitting down.

"Not at all!" smiled Misaki holding her rice bowl ready to eat when she noticed that Usui hair is still wet "ah! Usui!" gasped Misaki dashing away returning with a towel.

"You're going to catch a cold!" scolded Misaki gently drying Usui hair , sticking her face closer to Usui face.

"Unnh! I want to kiss you badly now" smirked Usui staring directly into Misaki eyes.

"Those sweet lips, those lying lips that kissed someone else" thought Misaki for a second staring back at Usui crying inside longing for his touch, tender kiss and simply his love.

"Baka!" said Misaki throwing the towel on Usui face still drying his hair, refusing to let him see her on the verge of tears.

Cut the silence Usui's phone ringing.

"Hello" answered Usui quickly pausing for a second adding "excuse me Misa I have to take that call, it's my friend Hiroki" and he head off to the balcony talking.

While Usui was talking cheerfully on the phone Misaki head started to spin off roughly , the strong fool act she's been playing all along one by one started to crack down slowly. On the other side of the line Misaki could hear a tiny adorable voice, a woman voice.

Once again Usui had lied and Misaki merciless had been sent in hell burning with pain and fear of losing Usui.

"Ah! sorry Misaki I really have to go!" said Usui kissing her forehead dashing outside leaving Misaki all alone.

As soon as the door were shut down Misaki miserably fell down on her knees, the scene she had been trying to erase from her mind or at least to forget kept on playing

cruelly into her eyes. The scene of Usui kissing another girl the scene that crushed Misaki whole life without any taste of mercy.

Misaki frozed in her place clenched to her wounded wrist , closing her eyes forcefully trying hard to shut her eyes to the bitter reality.

"I .. is he meeting w.. with her now? that's why he dashed cheerfully? to .. to .. to meet with her?" said Misaki in a broken tune shaking roughly feeling horrible anxiety mixed with great pain that almost stopped her heart.

"No! no! no! Usui is mine! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me .. he .. he .." and her tears started to fall down touching her pale cheeks gently, repeating those pitiful fake words trying to find a moment of peace, trying to convince her stupid throbbing heart with a lie that no matter of what her brain just wont accept it. Slowly Misaki gripping her wrist started unconsciously to scratch her old wounds savagely peeling her skin off panting heavily , watching the wounds getting opened again and the blood rushing out in painful calming way. Upon watching her hands stained with her own blood serenity slowly crawled back to Misaki's body.

"He loves me .. he loves me .. he loves me .. he loves me .." repeated Misaki over and over again holding her bleeding wrist sitting in a corner ignoring every sound of sense.

For hours and hours Misaki miserably sat in that dark corner bleeding painfully with broken sad heart till she finally sunk into peaceful sleep still captivated by the sweet pitiful thought that Usui loves her.

After a while, Misaki was pulled back into reality by her cell phone ringing tone. Slowly Misaki opened her eyes looking around in quick glance, it was midnight already.

"Hello" answered Misaki in shaken voice.

"Misa baby! where have you been? I called you a thousand time!" replied Usui on the other side of line.

"Ehh? sorry Usui I fell asleep, where are you now?" rubbed Misaki her swollen eyes looking up to the clock.

"Yeah about that .. listen Misaki I'm not coming home tonight"

"Eh?! why? is everything ok?" asked Misaki hearing her heart pound louder.

"Yeah yeah! I just have to stay at the office. I have loads of work to do! so don't wait for me" sighed Usui in annoyance.

"I .. I see!" replied Misaki trying her best to keep her voice from shaking adding "take care baby, don't overdo"

"Hai hai! love you Misa, don't skip your meals"

"I love you too" answered Misaki in depression.

Shaken by fear and anxiety Misaki sat down trying to sort her thoughts and feelings trying hard to ignore what's her mind telling her, ignoring the fear that Usui might be with that girl right now, it was so much painful and scary having that idea stuck in her mind that she couldn't even breath right. A depressed sigh escaped Misaki lips falling into bitter slump feeling so much lonely already on the verge of tears.

"No! I can't stay down forever!" shouted Misaki trying to cheer her self having of what she thought a great idea. Quickly Misaki put on her coat and scarf and dashed outside heading to the nearest cafe hoping it's still serveing sweets.

Shortly, Misaki was heading cheerfully to Usui's office holding a plastic bag filled with donuts and coffee "hehe .. I bet Usui will be so happy" smiled Misaki happily like maiden in love. In seconds Misaki was already in the building entering Usui's office.

The lights were off and the place was dead quite.

"Usui? Usui?" called Misaki searching for Usui, but only the awkward silence replied her.

"Excuse me miss, are you searching for someone?" asked a voice from behind Misaki.

"Y.. yes! Usui Takumi, is he around? I can't find him" said Misaki turning back looking at a neat guy in brown suit.

"Oh Takumi! I'm afraid he had left very early today" answered the man.

"Eh? left? .. but .." the inner of Misaki started to shake harshly hearing that simple yet cruel line.

"Yeah! he said something about leaving early to make dinner for his girlfriend" smiled the man meaning no harm.

The word girlfriend echoed roughly into Misaki's ears, her heart started to painfully pound in a rush making her whole body shake in sharp unbearable pain.

Misaki didn't dare to say anything, she took a deep breath swallowed her bitter sadness and walked away once again broken hearted.

"Umm .. who are you again Miss?" asked the man.

"N .. nobody" answered Misaki in a shaken voice.

Somehow, Misaki had made it home. Along the way her tears just couldn't stop , her agony wouldn't go away even so her fool heart couldn't stop loving Usui the one who's behind her tears and sorrow. Misaki sat down with a widened eyes in shock! her brain couldn't even tell her what to do next.

"He's .. he's having dinner with his .. with his .." but the word refused to go out of Misaki lips her throbbing heart couldn't accept the fact that Usui called another girl 'his girlfriend' the tears slowly blurred Misaki's vision "he loves me .. he loves me .." repeated Misaki the broken magical words scratching her wrist again. But no matter how long she repeated those bitter sweet words or felt her warm blood running down on her wrist the sharp pain wouldn't go away this time.

Slowly Misaki got up walking toward the bed room wobbling having hell of pain with every step she takes. Silently Misaki opened the second drawer where Usui keeps a gun for safety, with shaken hands and less sense Misaki pointed the gun at her head.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I can't live like this .. anymore .. I .. love you! I love you so much Usui I .. I .. love me too please!" wept Misaki hard leaning against the wall holding the gun in her shaken hands. Nothing mattered anymore for Misaki everything harshly had fallen apart , Misaki was already dead even though her heart was still beating.

Slowly Misaki pointed the gun to her head shut her eyes ready to pull the trigger .. when suddenly Usui face poped up into her eyes! the gun fell out of Misaki trembling hands resting quietly next to her. Misaki couldn't pull the trigger terrified of the idea that if she dies now she will lose Usui too. With that pitiful idea Misaki wiped her tears refusing to give up! refusing to let go of Usui.

"He's mine! Usui is mine alone!" murmured Misaki slowly losing her consciousness.

¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨* ^^ ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*• ¸¸.•*¨*

Next day, Usui still haven't showed up at the house, Misaki was yet into her peaceful sleep slowly opening her eyes disturbed by the sound of rain falling.

"Usui!" gasped Misaki realizing that he isn't home yet, quickly Misaki got up aching all over "I have to see you! I need to see you!"

shouted Misaki quickly putting her coat on snatching an umbrella for Usui feeling worried that Usui might catch a cold if he walked around under the rain.

In seconds, Misaki was running in the roads hurrying under the rain heading to Usui's office "I'll never give up! I'll never hand Usui to anyone else! I wont die just yet!" shouted Misaki in her thoughts determined to never let go of Usui no matter of what.

Shortly, Misaki was on the other side of the road in front the company ready to cross the road when her eyes caught something that made her freeze in the middle of the road!

Usui is coming out with the same brunette girl from before sharing an umbrella flirting cutely with each other.

*Doki .. Doki .. Doki ..*

Misaki heart twisted in the most sharp pain that she have ever known , without realizing a speeding car was heading right toward Misaki losing control due the heavy rain.

"Watch out!" yelled a stranger from the other side alerting Misaki, "ehhh?" quickly Misaki realized what's going on but .. it was already too late.

"Bam!"

The sound of the horrible crush caused the entire street to panic.

Everything happened quickly around Misaki , everything in fast forward motion, Misaki whole world for a second seemed so different everyone seemed to be sinking into a deep obscure. Misaki couldn't see straight anymore she didn't quite understand what's going on, Misaki couldn't see anything except her umbrella flying in the air landing far away.

"Misaki I love you! Misaki lets live together. Misaki we will always be together .. Misaki .. Misa baby .. Misaki .. Misaki .. I love you .. love you .. forever!"

Slowly before Misaki eyes kept rolling every moment she had shared with Usui every word every expression Usui made, every kiss, every touch , every little thing to the very end slowly run into Misaki's eyes into a flash back mixed with sweet memories of Usui.

"Usui" whispered Misaki softly as she harshly landed on the ground.

"Oh my god! someone call an ambulance! quick! oh my god!" yelled someone upon seeing that horrible scene of a girl landing on the ground covered in blood. The loud screams of panic filled the street alerting Usui.

"Misa? ... Misaki!" shouted Usui realizing what just happened.

So what happens next? Did Misaki survive the crush or?

Lets find out in the next chapter ^^

.. To Be Continued ..

**A/N ;**

**Thanks everyone for reading I hope you enjoyed *sniffing* **

**Haha! it's kinda sad for me xD anyway thank you very very much **

**For all of your lovely reviews it made me happy :) and everyone thoughts always effect what's going to happen next ^^ so keep your reviews coming ;)**

***Lots of people asked about Tora I say lets wait and see ..**

*** Blommie8 said to stop the suicide ideas , I did my best to shrink the bloody scenes but the story can't really go without it I apologize :)**

***most reviews were about Usui being jerk n yup I agree x3 I wanted to punish him too.**

***Thanks for everyone who took the time to follow , fav. , review the story you're the best really ^^**

***One more last thing, it's kinda a request too please when you review don't just leave your name as a 'Guest' it would be nice to have a special name to know you by it ^^ thanks :)**


	3. A lie Coffee & Sweet Kiss

Ever since the very start I have always loved you, I couldn't take my eyes away off you. Always always I have noticed you even through the crowded halls, your face is the only thing that my eyes could see, you and only you.

Him.

His smile.

His eyes.

His voice.

His laugh.

His warmth.

His existence.

Him!

For two years it was only him that I loved , Usui Takumi the most popular guy in my school, he was well known and loved by everyone always surrounded by the cutest girls always having someone beside him laughing cheerfully. Despite all that I will never forget the look in his eyes on that rainy day, even though your smile was the brightest among them all your eyes looked so sad and lonely standing in the rain. I wanted to know more I wanted to be someone who could ease your loneliness. I longed for your touch , warmth and love.

Watching you from a far if only I could become someone special to you , if only I'm the one who could be together forever with you .. how happy I could be.

During our final year of high school I finally took the courage and decided to confess to you, in the corner of my head I knew that I'll probably be rejected but I still did it anyways I didn't want to regret hiding my love for Usui.

"Usui kun! I .. I like you! please go out with me" said Misaki blushing hearing her heart beats louder than forever.

The wind gently made a fast movement blowing Misaki's dark hair as she stared at Usui in worry waiting to hear his answer.

"Ehhh .. why not? lets go out Misa chan" tenderly Usui smiled staring back at Misaki who froze in her place blinking twice unable to believe that Usui her crush for two years had just agreed to go out with her.

"Oh my god!" shouted Misaki almost fainting out of happiness.

A year after graduation Usui was the one who suggested living together sweetly whispering about how we will be together forever.

*Blank*

"Ehh .. a dream about the past?" thought Misaki slowly opening her eyes looking up to the white ceiling "where am I?" wandered Misaki trying to recall what happened to her. Misaki vision was blurry she couldn't tell much by looking around her, she could only hear a slight shattered voices whispering from a far. Misaki tried hard to pull her body up and sit but her whole body was terribly paining by just trying.

"What happened to me?" talked Misaki to her self loudly still very confused.

"Misa! you're awake?" asked a gentle deep voice.

"U .. Usui .. it's Usui voice!" she thought trying her best to speak through the terrible pain she's feeling "where am I .. Usui?" the words barely escaped Misaki lips.

"Umm .. you're in the hospital you got into car accident remember?"

"Car accident?" for a moment Misaki let that sentence sink deep into her mind trying to figure what's going on around her finally remembering everything. Twisting harshly inside her the pain almost stopped Misaki heart , before the crush Misaki saw Usui walking with that same girl.

Instead of coming back home instead of returning to Misaki, Usui was walking with that girl. Although Misaki whole body was aching with terrible pain, the pain inside her broken heart was much greater a thousand time over and a thousand time again.

"Feeling ok baby?" asked Usui bending over Misaki caressing her hair gently.

For a second Misaki wanted to cry hard! she wanted to cry to Usui and tell him how much it hurts inside, how much she's suffering in silence over and over again pretending that she hasn't noticed Usui relation with that girl. She wanted to cry and ask; why are you so gentle to me? how could you? why are you making that kind of face when you had stopped loving me? why? why? lots of questions were waiting for answers resting into Misaki mind.

But instead of asking and crying Misaki held in her tears swallowed the bitter pain and smiled for a brief second "y.. yeah I'm fine" she said heavily.

"I'm glad you're fine Misa but" said Usui pulling a chair sitting next Misaki bed adding "never ever do that again! do you know how much scared I was?! god!" and he held her left hand kissing it tenderly with worried face.

"Do you even care? will you ever notice if I was gone?" those painful words were on the tip of her tongue ready to slip any moment from now but her love for Usui, the love that had blinded Misaki the love that she have always been begging for just wouldn't let her! her pitiful yet strong love for Usui kept her from asking afraid of losing Usui.

"I'm alive aren't I? don't be scared now" pouted Misaki playfully trying to ignore her own agonizing thoughts.

"Well, yeah!" laughed Usui adding "but you still got a broken arm and a scar! please be more careful baby, I wouldn't be able to live if I lose you!"

"Even though I'm really fine! don't worry" said Misaki pausing for a second continuing "you said something about a scar .. what scar?" asked Misaki in doubt.

"Umm .. due the accident you got injured on the lower side of your stomach, the doctor had to stitch it for you" answered Usui.

"Ehhh?! scar and stitch?!" panicked Misaki touching her stomach trying to feel the stitched scar.

"Now now! don't panic!" chuckled Usui softly holding Misaki both hands "more importantly , what is this?" asked Usui in serious tune pointing at Misaki left hand , pointing exactly at her wrist.

"Err .. umm .. I .." Misaki just realized that her wrist is covered with bandages. Feeling ashamed of hurting her self Misaki couldn't speak and just stared at Usui with teary eyes.

"Well .. it's ok if you don't tell my why you did it right away" said Usui gently kissing Misaki wrist making her whole body shiver in desperate joy adding "however, if you ever hurt your self again Misaki I wont forgive you!"

"I'm .. I'm sorry Usui! I'm sorry! don't be mad at me please!" gasped Misaki clenching to Usui arm trembling almost wanting to cry.

"Hey! I'm not mad at you! just .. promise me that you wont hurt your self again"

"I promise! I promise" said Misaki still holding on to Usui arm.

"That's my good girl" smiled Usui Kissing Misaki forehead, causing a pitiful smile to appear on Misaki face sinking slowly into Usui sweet lies unable to set her self free.

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In a while, Usui was carrying Misaki in his arms standing in front of their house door; Misaki had refused to stay at the hospital any longer.

"Pu .. put me down Usui! it's my arm that's broken! I can walk" said Misaki blushing trying to get down of Usui arms.

"Nope! you're not going any where Misa!" said Usui pushing the door and getting in, still carrying Misaki.

Misaki heart quivered in painful joy, Usui sweetness were the worst kind of punishment that Misaki ever received. Somewhere in Misaki mind she knew very well that this sweetness is nothing but a fake act! nothing but a sweet dream she had hopelessly captured her self in even though Misaki pitifully would always beg for more destroying her own self one by one slowly.

Shortly, Usui had put Misaki down on the bed, going away for a second to make some coffee. Misaki softly placed her back on the bed staring outside the window "Usui .. he loves me right? he said that he can't live without me! he said .." but Misaki thoughts were cut off when the scene of Usui kissing another girl , walking happily with her even calling her his 'girlfriend' suddenly crushed into her mind leaving Misaki with horrible pain twisting her inside cruelly without any kind of mercy "no no!" Misaki closed her eyes desperately trying to ignore the bitter reality "Usui is my mine! he loves me" she said gripping her heart trying to calm down her throbbing heart maybe ease away the pain.

"Misa I'm done!" said Usui walking in holding a cup of coffee, placing it on the end table next to Misaki "ok! lets change those sweaty clothes, which blouse do you want to wear? or maybe sweater?" asked Usui holding the closet door staring at tones of Misaki clothes

"Your .. any of your sweaters" said Misaki blushing deeply.

For a second Usui stared at Misaki then quickly he chuckled saying "very well let me help you then" and he softly sat on the bed holding his sweater, gently taking off Misaki top.

"Ehh? w .. what are you doing?" blushed Misaki feeling embarrassed.

"You can't change your cloth with that broken arm of yours, let me help you!" grinned Usui already putting the sweater around Misaki neck. Quietly Misaki let Usui gently dress her hearing her heart beats getting louder and louder with every second it passed, Misaki heart was pounding roughly sometimes in joy sometimes in suffocating pain.

"Ehhh?!" gasped Misaki seeing the scar on her stomach for the first time; there's a jagged long line running down the left side of her stomach, you can tell it's new because the skin on it's edges has not yet starting to curl up, with some pink flesh still showing through, and some clotted blood between the rough stitches. Misaki were completely terrified by the sight of her fresh wound.

"Don't look! it's hadious" softly Misaki covered Usui eyes with her trembling hands refusing to let him see that horrible scar, afraid of the idea that he might hate her.

"It's beautiful!" said Usui tenderly removing Misaki hands , bending over her tummy "you're beautiful Misaki" he said gently kissing Misaki wound.

*Doki .. Doki .. Doki .. Doki .. *

The inner of Misaki trembled harshly in painful joy feeling Usui warm kisses over her tummy again and again and again almost stopping her heart from beating, gently killing her inside. It was only a matter of time before Misaki heart would completely wither in silence.

*buzz buzz*

The sound of Usui cell ringing cut off the moment, quickly Usui got up reaching his phone.

"Hello .." picked up Usui walking outside the room with bright smile upon his face.

As Usui voice got farther Misaki heart twisted in sharp pain suffocating her cruelly.

"It's .. it's her! Usui is talking to that girl right now!" shouted Misaki in her thoughts clenching tight to her aching heart on the verge of tears.

"Ah Misa! I have to go now, I might stay over in the office tonight too" said Usui putting his suit jacket on.

"I .. I see! don't overwork" forced Misaki a smile holding in her tears barely.

"Ok! drink your coffee it's getting cold, and I left you some pain killers here" paused Usui for a second "take a rest baby" said Usui gently kissing Misaki forehead walking away.

The slam of the door as Usui left felt so much painful as if the door had slammed Misaki instead. In silence Misaki tears break down harshly unable to stop unable to ease Misaki pain drowning her into the depth of the most dreadful pain that she ever knew.

"He's .. Usui is .. with her now" said Misaki in shaken tune weeping roughly placing her head on the pillow trying to ignore her heart beats "Usui loves her!" wept Misaki even more closing her eyes wishing with all her heart that she would fall asleep and forget about the bitter reality even if it's for a short time. Misaki buried her face into Usui sweater taking a deep breath trying hard to take her mind away from the painful thoughts "Usui .. Usui said that he can't live without me!" smiled Misaki clenching tight to those sweet lies trying to comfort her fool heart yet realizing how pitiful and fake they are, still refusing to believe in the bitter truth "yeah Usui can't live without me" said Misaki wiping her tears closing her eyes softly holding on to that sweet dream, finally falling asleep.

"Ehh? where am I?" wondered Misaki in fear looking around in a glance; around her everything seemed to be sinking slowly into a deep obscure leaveing Misaki completely alone in the middle of a grimy darkness.

Misaki barely started to walk her way through the darkness wobbling not quite sure of what's going on. Misaki for a brief second leant her body on the wall trying to catch her breath for she was panting heavily.

A sudden feeling of some warm drops of thick liquid touching the back of her neck startled Misaki "w .. what's that?" murmured Misaki touching her neck slowly "ehhh?!" shouted Misaki in panic as she found her hand stained with blood , quickly Misaki eyes widened in fear upon the sight of the wall behind her. All of the sudden the walls started creepily to leak dark crimson blood from every corner drenching Misaki completely.

"Oh my god!" screamed Misaki in terror trying to wipe the blood of her face "w .. what's wrong with me?!" cried Misaki trembling harshly completely terrified. Quickly Misaki pulled her self together and started to run as fast as she could while the dark broken walls continued to leak blood in silence.

While Misaki was running in total fear the floor underneath her without any warnings started to fall apart as huge black thorny branches made it's way up blocking Misaki way , cruelly stabbing her everywhere causing her whole body to bleed painfully still running determined to get out of here.

Shortly, Misaki had break through the creepy branches to the other side. Shaken by fear and terror Misaki fall down on her knees trembling hard not having a clue about what's going on.

"He doesn't love you .. he doesn't love you .. he never loved you!"

Echoed a wounded whispers all over the place over and over and over again stabbing Misaki repeatedly with awful harsh pain.

"Shut up! shut up! please!" yelled Misaki covering her ears trying her best to ignore the creepy whispers looking up in a fear upon seeing a shadow of a little girl.

A little girl with eyes as dark as the night covered with wounds and scars dripping blood, stood there right before Misaki holding a shallow ceramics doll.

"Like a broken old toy he'll throw you away! he never loved you!" said the girl giggling softly vanishing slowly into the deep obscure as her lines kept echoing painfully into Misaki ears causing her to hear the sound of her heart literally shattering just like a piece of shallow ceramics.

*Blank*

"Ehh?!" gasped Misaki in panic opening her eyes , looking quickly around her "just .. just a dream?" said Misaki panting realizing that she's still on her bed and all of that creepy stuff was just a bad dream. Although Misaki was somehow relieved the inner of her soul was still shaking hard unable to calm down terrified by just thinking that Usui might leave her one day.

"Usui .. Usui loves me right? it's ok he loves me! he .. he loves me .. everything is ok!" said Misaki in complete denial wiping away her harsh tears yet unable to ignore the twisting sharp pain that's slowly devouring her inside.

Quietly trembling in the most painful agony Misaki clenched tight to her bandaged wrist fighting the deadly urge of hurting her self remembering the promise she had made with Usui, afraid of breaking it although Usui had easily broke the promise he made of loving her forever.

"Bu .. but .. but he's with her now" wept Misaki hard aware of the fact that Usui had left her to be with another girl "he .. he .. Usui doesn't love me dose he? he will leave me .. he doesn't love me anymore .. Usui is .. Usui .." cried Misaki even more suffocating on her own words unable to breath not even hurt her self.

Shaking roughly in the dark cold room Misaki kept on crying for hours and hours destroying her self with her own poisoned thoughts that made her heart quiver in terrible pain , hoping to get a glimpse of sleep wishing for the unbearable pain to go away.

For the rest for the night Misaki eyes couldn't get a hold of a peaceful sleep at all, for every time she closed her eyes a horrible nightmares would hunt her down causing her to wake up in terror.

Misaki spent the rest of the night crying painfully afraid of falling asleep, holding tight to her throbbing heart whispering "Usui loves me .. Usui loves me .. Usui loves me .." comforting her self with those sweet lies.

00000000000000000000000000 oo 0000000000000000000000000000

For the next two days Usui hadn't come back home, not even contacting Misaki just leaving her with a text massage saying that he wont be coming home due his work.

In the back of Misaki mind she knew very well that Usui had been spending the last couple days with the same girl, Misaki whole body was cruelly forced into a painful numbness.

For two whole days Misaki couldn't get a hold of Usui, the fact that she couldn't see him or listen to his voice had drove her to the brink of insanity.

For two hurtful painful days Misaki hunted by awful nightmares couldn't get a wink of sleep scared of what awaits her on the other side of dream land.

Misaki passed her time in those two days sinking quietly into painful destructive thoughts.

Unable to sleep unable to wake Misaki pitifully spent her time staring at her cell sometimes other times staring blankly outside the window , waiting for that moment waiting for Usui to come home and comfort her fool heart with more sweet lies.

"Usui loves me .. Loves me .. Loves me .." whispered Misaki as she stared outside the window thinking no more of the outside world just her and Usui.

Pulling back Misaki into reality the sound of the door bell that startled her, quickly she walked wobbling toward the door with a hoping smile upon her pale face.

"Ehh? Honoka? Sakura?" Misaki smile vanished in disappointment seeing her friends at the door instead of Usui.

"Yup! we came to check on you" said Honoka smiling pulling Sakura and getting inside.

"Congrats on being released from hospital" said Sakura placing a chocolate box and flowers on the table.

"T .. thank you" answered Misaki in shaken voice.

"Ehh?! Misaki are you ok?!" gasped Honoka in surprise the moment she looked up to Misaki; death-like pale skin, swollen eyes with black circles underneath them, bloodless trembling lips, Misaki completely looked horrible in creepy way.

"Ye .. yes I'm fine" said Misaki without putting the effort to smile, sliding her hair softly on her face hiding it.

"But Misaki you lo..." but Sakura got interrupted by Misaki shouting "I said I'm fine!" .

Sakura along with Honoka stared at Misaki trembling in worry.

"Then where's Usui kun?" asked Honoka looking around.

"He's .. he's busy!" answered Misaki in broken voice already on the verge of tears.

"That's it! Usui kun is cheating on you isn't he?! you knew and you're still killing your self over him?! I can't believe you Misa!" shouted Honoka in anger while Sakura tried hard to keep her calm.

"W .. what are you saying? he's .. Usui is not cheating on me" said Misaki as her tears slowly started to fall.

"Get real already! everybody knows it! Usui is such a jerk!"

"Don't! don't call him a jerk" said Misaki glaring at Honoka through her tears.

"Get a hold of your self Misaki! you should leave him! he's cheating on you for god sake!" shouted Honoka loudly trying her best to save Misaki from destroying her self.

"And .. and what do you know? what do you know to speak about Usui like that?!" snapped Misaki adding "get out! both of you get out now!"

"Yeah! we're going! just keep it in your mind Misaki, Usui is a lying jerk!" said Honoka slamming the door , leaving along with Sakura.

Instantly Misaki fell down weeping, it was so much painful to even breath.

0000000000000000000 oo 00000000000000000

Later that night, after hours and hours of crying Misaki were as good as the dead but the sudden sound of the door getting opened gave Misaki the strength to get up on her feet dashing toward the door "Usui!" shouted Misaki in her thoughts.

"Usui! you're home!" said Misaki barely able to smile staring at Usui who looked a bit strange.

"Yeah baby! come here!" said Usui staggering hugging Misaki tightly.

For a second Misaki body and soul shivered in joy feeling the warmth of Usui gentle touch, but something was wrong Misaki just didn't feel right.

"Us.. Usui are you drunk?" asked Misaki in doubt.

"Nah! I'm not!" answered Usui kissing Misaki cheek playfully moving his hand slowly on Misaki.

"Usu.. Usui! wait" said Misaki nervously.

"why wait? ahh Misaki! I'm feeling down comfort me!" said Usui slamming Misaki on the wall forcing a rough kiss on her lips, causing Misaki to start to tremble in fear this time.

"Usui! stop it! you reek of alcohol! stop it!" said Misaki pushing Usui off softly.

"So what Misa? let me love you" uttered Usui forcing more of those rough kisses on Misaki.

"I'm scared! I'm so scared! this is not the Usui I know!" thought Misaki for a second shutting her eyes feeling Usui rough kisses shivering in fear "s .. stop it! you're disgusting!" shouted Misaki with tears in her eyes , gathering her whole strength shoving Usui away.

"I'm disgusting?!" chuckled Usui mocking.

*Smack!*

Misaki suddenly crushed down on the floor harshly after receiving a rough slap aimed by Usui in anger.

"U .. Usui?" Misaki eyes widened in shock licking the tip of her lips which started to bleed.

"I'm the disgusting one? don't flatter your self when your nothing but a pathetic crazy one who enjoy bleeding her self!" paused Usui for a second adding "you're far beyond disgusting! just the sight of you makes me sick"

Misaki upon hearing Usui cruel words she didn't even dare to say anything, just laid there in complete shock as her tears slowly started to fall.

"Enough already! I'm breaking up with you!" said Usui coldly starting to walk away.

"U .. Usui! no please! wait! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! please don't leave me!" cried Misaki chasing after Usui "Usui! wait please!" shouted Misaki over and over again still chasing after him crying harshly as he completely ignored Misaki desperate shouts and continued walking.

"U.. Usui!" shouted Misaki one more time stopping for a second for her legs had just betrayed her and she couldn't run any longer "I love you Usui! please don't leave me!" cried Misaki loud in the middle of the road. But Usui cruelly walked away without turning back not even once.

"Ouch!" said Misaki touching her tummy wound "ehh?!" trembled Misaki in fear as she found her hand completely soaked by blood.

"Usui!" again she cried watching Usui slowly vanishing into the darkness.

So .. what's going to happen next? is that the end of their relationship? Will Misaki be able to live without Usui?

Lets find out in the next chapter :)

**0o To Be Continued 0o**

**A/N:**

*** Thank you very much for reading my story! hope everyone liked it ^^**

*** Sorry I made you wait long, I'm really busy with my art project and other stories :)**

*** I wanted to say thanks a million times for the great reviews ^^ it was totally great and just made me like Wow! seeing all those reviews.**

*** meimei11 : maybe Usui and Misa will get together maybe not :D stay tuned**

*** tjw : thanks for your review ^^ I hope you didn't wait long**

*** Abibambi : thanks for liking the story :) I'm happy**

*** sacredstrawberry : if you're waiting for Tora I'm waiting the perfect time to slip him in ^^ hold on :D**

*** PrincessSkylar : god? does that mean you liked the story? :D **

***Blommie8 : I'll not kill you :P I totally agree with you, thanks for always being here :)**

*** takumisalover : thanks for review ^^ hope you didn't wait long.**

*** Idontgiveafuko : hold on tight then xD Tora is just around the corner.**

*** Love4Dreams : it just makes me happy to know that you've read my story ^^ thanks :) and yup I'm kind of stalking you and copying you :D hope you don't mind ^^**

*** takumisakicchi : Misaki is weak due love na xD don't hate them just yet , lets all hate the other girl for now ^^**

*** na-chan : thanks so much for your lovely review and complement ^^ it made me happy :) I hope I didn't make you confuse this time.**

*** Anime : ehehehe ;) thanks for your complement! I'm flattered :)**

**Azure : thanks for your review ^^ hope you didn't wait long.**

*** I still insist on reviewing with using a nickname instead of guest ^^ just so I can thank you good enough :)**

*** thanks so so much for everyone who ; fav. , followed, reviewed the story guys you're 1000% the best :D**

*** I'll stop talking now xD take care all :)**


	4. Sinful Desire

**Note: My deepest apologize for the very late update ..**

**Enjoy :D**

It was a dark serene night as the luminous moon peacefully hid beneath a cluster of dark clouds that covered the bleak sky. It appeared dull but you could easily tell that it's about to rain anytime soon.

Slowly the rain drops started to fall down, tenderly washing the streets washing away the dreams hopes and happiness out of Misaki reach.

Quietly Misaki fell harshly on her knees sinking slowly into a painful numbness.

"Usui .. Usui .. he .. he .. hit me .." said Misaki in a shocked broken voice staring blankly into the darkness hoping to get a glimpse of Usui who coldly ignored her sad cries and just walked away "he .. he said I'm disgusting" the tears rushed down Misaki cheeks without warning remembering Usui cruel words, weeping roughly gasping for air still not believing how cruel and cold Usui was to her. Soaked by rain and her own tears Misaki whole body started to shiver in sharp pain as her heart cruelly was broken into thousand of pieces.

"Usui .. please come back to me .. please!" cried Misaki painfully in a trembling tone unable to move an inch just sitting under the rain in a bitter shock still staring into the darkness as the horrible pain was devouring her broken heart quietly.

"Misa? Misaki!" shouted Honoka from the other side of the road startling Misaki, running quickly to her; "Misaki? my god! what happened to you?!" asked Honoka in doubt staring at Misaki who was completely drenched by rain and looking awfully miserable.

"N .. nothing .." replied Misaki wiping her tears , slowly standing ready to walk away.

"What? are you .. are you ok Misaki?" asked Honoka in worry grabbing Misaki arm stopping her from leaving.

For a brief second Misaki heart quivered in dreadful agony; she simply didn't know how to answer Honoka question, she couldn't dare to speak up for she knew that she would break down any second of now crying harsh and loud of how much it hurts inside of how many times she died in silence swallowing Usui cruelness unable to set her self free out of Usui sweet yet cruel grasps.

"It shouldn't end this way .. it shouldn't end .. me and Usui we're infinite .. me and Usui .. me and Usui .." wept Misaki in pitiful denial talking to her self forgetting about Honoka existence "It can't end .. it can't end .. me and Usui .. me and Usui can't end" murmured Misaki as she suddenly lost what's left of her power and fell on th ground fainting.

"Oh my god!" shouted Honoka in panic.

After a while, Honoka was talking outside Misaki room with the doctor; Honoka in quick panic decided to take Misaki to her house and call a doctor for it was already very late.

"So?" asked Honoka nervously.

"Well .." said the doctor taking a deep breath continueing "aside from the reopen scar that I had to sew .. she's having a serious malnutrition and obviously lack of sleep"

"Is she going to be ok?" gasped Honoka in total worry.

"Yeah! she just need a proper rest healthy eating , and everything will be ok soon"

"Ah! thank you so much!" sighed Honoka in relief "sorry to bother you at such late time doctor I owe you one" smiled Honoka walking the doctor to the door.

Minutes later Honoka head back to Misaki room.

"Ah Misa! you're awake! how do you feel now?" asked Honoka getting closer to the bed.

"I'm .. I'm ok" answered Misaki in a shaken voice; that made it very clear that she isn't really fine.

"Misaki .. what happened? what happened between you and Usui kun?" stared Honoka in doubt at Misaki face which were covered in blue marks.

"Usui .. Usui .. he left" answered Misaki already on the verge of tears unable to hold back her tears anymore "Usui left me .. Usui left me .. He left me .." broke down Misaki in tears weeping roughly chocked by the bitter painful fact that Usui had simply left her throwing away everything that they both ever had , throwing away every meaning of their precious love.

"Did he .. is Usui kun the one behind the marks on your face Misa?" asked Honoka in serious tone.

"N.. no! I .. I just fell" gasped Misaki sliding her hair down hiding the bruises on her face refusing to admit that those horrible marks were made by Usui own hands , refusing to show how cruel and awful her most beloved was to her and more importantly still unable to believe that Usui was actually that heartless toward her.

"It was him wasn't it? stop covering up for him" said Honoka still staring at the marks which were clearly aren't caused by falling.

"No! I .. I told you I fell! Usui would .. he would never hurt me" replied Misaki suffering harshly by the terrible pain that crushed down the inner of her tormented soul, realizing

how pitiful and pathetic she is by denying the agonizing fact that Usui was the one to hurt her ; but Misaki poor broken heart just couldn't stand the idea of speaking of Usui in a bad way. Misaki couldn't tarnish Usui perfect image no matter of what or how cruel Usui was. Misaki deeply was still in love with him.

"Misa listen .. this may sound harsh but .." paused Honoka for a second sitting on the bed next to Misaki adding "it's time to move on already! Usui is just a player he isn't faithful to you , he dosen't worth any of your tears"

"W .. what are you saying? Usui is .. Usui is .. faithful to me .. I know!" said Misaki shaking twisting by awful dreadful pain for she knew more than anyone else that all of her words were just a sweet lie. A lie that she tell to her self every day to comfort her fool blind heart.

"Wake up Misaki! wake up! he's cheating on you! he even hit you! you can't keep going like that, you can't Misaki! Usui dosen't love you anymore! wake up already!" shouted Honoka trying her best to push some sense back to Misaki heart and brain.

Although Misaki already knew very well the bitter truth that Usui dosen't love her any longer still hearing it coming from another person was so much painful that it almost stopped Misaki heart it was so painful that she knew that there isn't a way to make him love her again no matter what she dose, it was so painful and unfair how she couldn't stop loving him after everything he did to her so far.

"But .. but .." cried Misaki bitterly hugging Honoka barely catching her breath sinking into a horrible painful misery for she couldn't put on the strong fool act any longer "but I love him so much! I love Usui so much! I love him! it hurts .. it hurts so so much Honoka" wept Misaki roughly clenching tight to Honoka shivering in deadly pain.

"It's ok Misa! he dosen't deserve you. You need to forget about him, you have to!" answered Honoka pating Misaki hair gently feeling Misaki warm tears dripping softly on her shoulder.

"I .. I .. I can't! I can't! I love him so much I'll die without him!" burst Misaki into sorrowful tears feeling absolutely nothing but aching sharp pain for she knew she wasn't just using those words lightly; it was the sad truth that she would really die without Usui love.

"No Misaki! you're stronger than what you think, it wont be easy for sure but everyone is here for you!" said Honoka still pating Misaki continuing "it's ok if you cry, it's ok to not be okay Misa! I'm here I'll help you out. You're going to be fine without him Misaki, I promise it will get better soon" said Honoka gently hugging Misaki softly trying to find away to ease her sadness maybe help her to forget about Usui.

No matter how much Honoka words seemed to be promising and comforting Misaki aching heart still couldn't find peace nor serenity shattering in pain Misaki kept on crying bitterly in Honoka warm hug, as if she were releasing all the pain that she had to bear with alone for that long painful time.

"I'll die .. I'll die without him .. I'll die" repeated Misaki through her tears over and over again holding tight to Honoka, crying loud and harsh unable to stop the tears or forget the pain; Misaki just wept for hours and hours repeating desperately how she would die without Usui existence till she couldn't cry anymore as her voice cracked up vanishing softly while Honoka pated Misaki hair gently letting her know that it's ok to cry.

"I'll make you some lemonade to calm down" said Honoka softly leaving the room completely worried about Misaki who just looked as if she were drained of life.

*Ding Dong*

The sudden sound of the door bell had surprised Honoka; it was already very late at night , and Honoka wasn't expecting anyone either.

"Who could it be at such a time?" wandered Honoka opening the door.

And the great surprise it was Usui standing outside the door.

"Hi! where's Misa..." but Usui didn't get to complete his words interrupted by a sudden slap aimed by Honoka.

"Ouch! what's that for?!" asked Usui in surprise.

"That's for hurting Misaki!" replied Honoka in anger again swaying her hand slapping Usui once more "and that's for hitting Misaki you stupid jerk!"

"Whatever! you need to chill out Honoka chan" chuckled Usui touching his aching face.

"What are you doing at my house?" asked Honoka in total anger.

"I'm here to take Misaki home obviously"

"Home?! how dare you show your face here after what you did to Misaki?! how dare you?!" paused Honoka for a second fed up by Usui annoying coldness "Misaki dosen't want to see you anymore please leave! don't ever come back here again"

"Are you for real?" laughed Usui hard mocking Honoka words "did Misaki say that?"

"Yes! now please leave at once! you've done so much damage already" replied Honoka

starting to lose her patience.

"Oh please! as if Misaki would say that!" chuckled Usui in confidence adding "for heavens sake she can't even live without me"

"You're such a jerk!" said Honoka ready to slam the door , when Usui suddenly held the door "just give her a week maybe two and I promise that she will come back crying to me. See you around Honoka chan , tell Misa I said hi" grinned Usui walking away.

"A total jerk!" sighed Honoka closing the door.

After a short while; Honoka went back to Misaki room holding a cup of cold lemonade.

"Misaki drink this" said Honoka looking at Misaki realizing that she had already fallen into sleep "she must be tired" thought Honoka turning of the lights.

"I'm sorry Misa! It's for your own good" murmured Honoka as she left the room deciding to never tell Misaki about Usui sudden visit.

Later that night; Honoka had to rush out her bed in panic quickly as she heard a loud scream coming from Misaki room.

"What's .. what's wrong Misaki?!" dashed Honoka into the room.

"I .. it .. I had a bad dream .." answered Misaki trembling hard , sitting on the bed.

"It's ok Misa! It's just a dream, go back to sleep" said Honoka comforting Misaki smoothly.

"Don't .. don't go please" tuged Misaki Honoka arm staring at her with tearful eyes.

"Why not?" smiled Honoka getting over the bed next to Misaki.

"Thanks" uttered Misaki in cracked up tone, burying her face into the blanket.

"No problem" smiled Honoka.

Silence took over the room for a brief minute; Misaki quietly stared at the dark ceiling having every kind of random thoughts and memories of Usui spinning inside her head roughly refusing to let her have a glimpse of sleep not even a brief second of it.

"Honoka .. remember when Usui used to skip the science class?" said Misaki smiling sadly.

"Hehe yeah and Mr. Yamato would always ask us to find him, and we'd end up chasing him on the building roof" laughed Honoka remembering the old good times.

"Yeah" answered Misaki as her smile faded and tears found the way to her eyes again , feeling somehow sorry of how things turned out to be painful for her and Usui "umm .. I'm sorry Honoka I shouldn't have gotten mad at you the other time it's just that .. " added Misaki looking at Honoka who had quietly fallen into sleep listening to Misaki.

However, dawn had made it's way through the sky and yet Misaki was still crying painfully holding her voice in afraid of waking Honoka up, depressed by the sweet harsh agonizing thoughts of Usui "I can't do this! I can't!" thought Misaki clenching tight to her throbbing heart having a hell of desperate idea "I have to see him" and swiftly Misaki snuck out the bed wobbling heading straight to her own home wanting badly to see Usui even if it's just a glance to comfort her fool heart once more.

Shortly, Misaki had made it home somehow; nothing she gained but more terrible pain. For a second Misaki froze in her place as the piercing pain was slowly cutting her inside brutally; on the bed Usui slept peacefully along with the same girl sleeping in Misaki share of bed! it wasn't even one day yet since Misaki left the house and another girl is already sleeping in her place.

"Did I mean absolutely nothing to you?" whispered Misaki feeling the sting of pain twisting her inner soul to it's core.

Without thinking Misaki run outside the house for her poor broken heart couldn't stand that awful sight anymore than that. Quickly Misaki trembling legs took her to the nearest park where she sat down breaking in dreadful pain.

"Why can't I hate you? why?" cried Misaki fully aware of how pitiful and pathetic she really is; but it wasn't Misaki fault at all it was only her heart fault for falling deeply in love with such a man "he loves me .. he loves me not .. he loves me .. he loves me not .. he loves me" wept Misaki holding a flower in her shaking hands softly cutting the flower petals one by one. Although the petals told Misaki that he love her , sadly she knew that things dosen't work out that easily.

"Miss .. miss .. are you okay?" asked a little girl staring at Misaki who were drown in tears and sorrow.

"N .. no no I'm not" replied Misaki showing a sorrowful smile upon her pale face through her tears.

"Where dose it hurt?" asked the little girl innocently "don't cry anymore miss" said the girl kissing Misaki cheek tenderly "now the pain will go away" she smiled cheerfully.

For a minute there Misaki heart quivered in sadness; she wished if her pain could be cured that easily but the cheerful smile of that little girl face was enough to make Misaki smile as well.

"Thank you!" smiled Misaki ruffling the girl hair gently.

"Pin Pin! there you are!" said a guy appearing out of the shallow darkness.

"Tora - oniichan! you found me! tehehehe!" smiled the girl.

"Yes I did! now lets go home already Pin Pin, the sun is about to shine" he replied holding Pin Pin hand ready to walk away.

"Wait! wait Tora! this miss is crying" pouted Pin Pin pointing at Misaki.

"Oh! you're right!" said Tora taking fast glances at Misaki who seemed awfully sad crying in pain "umm hello there lovely miss , on my behalf and Pin Pin's too please cheer up! such a beautiful miss like you shouldn't be crying" smiled Tora tenderly staring at Misaki.

"Y .. yeah! thank you" replied Misaki in trembling voice sliding down her dark hair on her face hiding the bruises.

"Here take this!" put down Tora a lollipop on Misaki lap trying his best to cheer her up "it's going to be okay lovely miss, right Pin Pin?"

"Yup! don't cry anymore miss" smiled Pin Pin lively.

"I .. sure!" forced Misaki a smile upon her bloodless lips holding into the lollipop.

"That's a good miss!" chuckled Tora pating Misaki hair gently causing Misaki pale cheeks to blush for a second "lets go Pin Pin" and cheerfully they both started to walk away.

"Bye bye miss" shouted Pin Pin from a far.

As the both of them vanished out of Misaki sight she broke down in tears, feeling sorry for her self feeling sorry for how she were always Usui cure while he was her diseases, feeling sorry for she has always been saving him while he was slowly killing her.

The tears on Misaki cheeks were so much hurtful as if it were burning her shaken soul; in the most painful agony her heart ever known Misaki closed her eyes took a deep breath and decided to let it all go. Shaken in pain and sorrow Misaki decided to put an end to all of her endless suffering.

"For the sake of people whom I love .. I'll be .. I'll .. I'll be stronger" said Misaki wiping her tears away determined to become stronger trying her best to ignore what's her broken heart telling her.

~00~00~00~00~00~00~00~00~

Few months later;

"Misaki get up! you're going to be late" shouted Honoka pulling Misaki out of bed.

"Ok ok! I'm up I'm up!" said Misaki rubbing her eyes barely awake.

"Ok! I have to go first, take care Misa" said Honoka dashing out.

In a total slump Misaki got out the bed scratching her messy hair heading to the bathroom.

"So tired" yawned Misaki staring at her self in the mirror for a mintue "I can do this! I can do this!" repeated Misaki loudly washing her face then putting on a perfect smile ready to go out and face today.

Ever since that night a few months have passed away; Misaki in determination to be stronger decided to step on her broken heart throwing away everything behind her back the pain the sadness and the tears everything were completely ignored by Misaki trying her best to forget about all the painful memories and just move on. In those few months Misaki had peacefully passed her days without hearing from Usui not even once, struggling to be alive again Misaki found her self a job keeping her self busy and passing each day with a bright smile; but smiles aren't always what they seems to be.

However, shortly Misaki had arrived at the cafe were she works; quickly she changed her clothes into the cafe uniform took a deep breath smiled cheerfully and went out ready to take orders.

"Can I take your order sir?" asked Misaki focusing her eyes on the notepad she held.

"The usual" he chuckled.

"The usual?" paused Misaki for a second lifting her head up quickly thinking that she knows this voice very well "Tora!" gasped Misaki.

"Yup! It felt lonely when you didn't notice me" pouted Tora playfully.

"Ah gomen gomen! I had a lot going on my mind" replied Misaki nervously.

"I'd be very happy if I'm one of those things" smiled Tora tenderly staring at Misaki as her cheeks quickly turned into red.

"Any .. anyway how's Pin Pin chan?" asked Misaki hiding her embarrassment.

"Oh she's fine , just busy with her homeworks" paused Tora for a second still staring at Misaki deeply "you know that I only come here to see you Misa! you're smile really makes my day" he added softly.

"Umm .. I" the words had betrayed Misaki and couldn't escape her lips as her face turned into bright red.

"Ah man! what am I saying? you must think that I'm very lame" murmured Tora feeling embarrassed "anyway there's something important I need to tell you, are you free tonight?" asked Tora seriously.

"I .." but Misaki didn't get to complete her words as she were called to take another table order; nervously Misaki started to walk away without giving Tora an answer.

"You have to come!" insisted Tora grabbing Misaki arm stopping her midway.

"Ouch!" gasped Misaki quickly snatching her arm back.

"Eh? sorry did that hurt you?" asked Tora in total surprise for he knew he didn't use that much strength grabbing her.

"Y.. yeah! I'm sorry" replied Misaki walking away fast leaving Tora drown in confusion.

Quickly Misaki pulled her self together and went over the next table trying to avoid Tora warm gaze; she could tell that Tora eyes were following her the whole time which made her very nervous and somewhat uneasy. After that painful night in the park Misaki happened to meet Tora again accidently , and Tora started to hang around the cafe daily; which were enough to build a steady friendship between them.

"And what are you going to order miss?" asked Misaki sliding her hair down hiding her face in shyness as she noticed Tora smiling brightly at her.

"I'll take a cup of coffee" paused the girl for a second "ah! aren't you Ayuzawa Misaki?" she asked.

"Yeah! umm .. have we met before?" wandered Misaki staring hard at the girl trying to recall if they ever met.

"Yes! I'm Yukina Hina! we used to be in the same class in the third year of high school"

she smiled adding "weren't you and Usui kun friends ne?"

For a brief second Misaki heart twitched in sharp pain, the mare mention of Usui name was enough to send Misaki soul into the depth of hell once more; swiftly Misaki swallowed the bitterness "m.. me and him? .. no we aren't friends .. we're just strangers with memories" said Misaki in shivering voice "well I'm going to get your order" forced Misaki a smile upon her pale face walking away.

In silence Misaki went to the back of the cafe hardly breathing clenching tight to her heart that started to thumb faster than forever causing Misaki to feel a terrible pain.

"No no! No! I'm fine! you're fine Misaki you're fine! I can do this!" said Misaki loudly shaking the bad thoughts off pulling her self together "I can do this!" thought Misaki once more taking a deep breath then putting on a smile going back to work.

~00~~00~~00~~00~~00~

However, night had arrived already covering the sky. Misaki after a long day of work is finally back home.

"I'm home!" said Misaki taking her shoes off; but the dead silence made it obvious that Honoka hasn't returned home yet. A tired sigh escaped Misaki lips as she walked slowly to her room.

As soon as the door was closed and Misaki were left all alone away from every human sight the tears streamed down Misaki face. Misaki quickly threw her self harshly on the bed burying her face into the pillow crying bitterly shaken by one sweet cruel memory; the memory that she had spent the past few months trying to forget, that one painful memory that no matter of what she just couldn't let it go, the memory of Usui.

Although on the outside Misaki seemed to be doing just fine by her own always smiling cheerfully and joking around pretending that it dosen't hurt anymore but when you look deeply into her eyes you could easily tell that it's telling another kind of story. A story of how she were fighting the pain all alone keeping her head up faking a smile refusing to look weak anymore.

Even though days have passed peacefully on Misaki the cold nights were a whole different matter; the nights when she'd get to her room and get away from everything else the nights when she'd be left all alone with the demons in her head.

"I miss you! I miss you! I miss you so much!" wept Misaki aching in longing for Usui love , sinking into the depth of the terrible misery dying to meet Usui one more time again for a moment even for a brief second, just like a sinful desire Misaki couldn't dare to cast away the love she have for Usui.

Shaken in tears Misaki got off the bed wobbling heading to the drawer; a sharp piece of glass were put down there neatly, with trembling hands Misaki picked up the piece left up her sleeve and paused for a second; her whole arm was covered with scars the old and the new ones were totally covering her arm painfully.

Quietly, Misaki held that piece of glass softly pressing it to her skin bearing with the pain till the warm little drops had finally started to flow making a new brand jagged scar.

"I miss you! I miss you Usui!" panted Misaki heavily dropping the sharp piece breaking down in tears fighting the deadly desire of wanting to meet with Usui again yet losing the right way to deal with her own demons.

*buzz buzz*

The sound of Misaki cell phone going off surprised her for a second.

"H.. hello?" answered Misaki trying to prevent her voice from shaking.

"Hi Misa! it's me Tora! lets meet in the theme park ok?" replied Tora on the other side of the line.

"O .. ok!" she said.

"Umm Misa are you ok? you don't sound fine." asked Tora in worry.

"Ye .. yeah I'm fine! I'll be right there" said Misaki hanging up, but the way her voice cracked up showed the fact that she isn't really fine.

Shortly, Misaki had arrived at the theme park, again putting on the perfect fake smile hiding every trace of sorrow and sadness of her face.

The night were chilly and windy, the theme park was crowded with people Misaki eyes couldn't see Tora at all.

"Misa! Misa over here!" shouted Tora cheerfully dashing toward Misaki.

"Oh Tora! sorry I couldn't see you" smiled Misaki briefly.

"It's ok!" paused Tora adding "you look beautiful Misa"

Quickly Misaki face turned into wine - colored feeling a bit shy "umm .. so .. what did you want to tell me?" asked Misaki hiding her blushing face staring at the sparkling huge ferris wheel.

"Yeah about that .." said Tora in embarrassment "I like you! please go out with me!"

But suddenly no words dared to come out Misaki mouth frozen in her place as her eyes by Mistake caught something that wasn't meant to be; it was Usui!

Even though the park was completely crowded with many different people Misaki could easily spot Usui through the crowd no matter of what, but again Usui wasn't alone he held hands with that same girl.

Swiftly Misaki swayed her eyes off Usui as her heart throbbed with painful agony, trying to keep her self calm.

"Misa?" asked Tora still waiting for a reply wandering if there's something wrong with Misaki.

"Umm .. I .. I mean.." gasped Misaki in lose of words already on the verge of tears yet fighting the urge to cry fighting the urge to take another glance at Usui absolutely refusing to show her weakness.

"It's ok Misa, you don't have to give me an answer right away" smiled Tora gently.

"No! you see .." but Misaki words were interrupted by the sudden buzzing of her cell "excuse me for a bit" said Misaki taking her cell out.

"Go ahead"

Out of the blue Misaki eyes widened in bitter shock as soon as her eyes fell on the newly arrived message.

"I miss you ...

Usui"

In less than a brief second Misaki world fell apart! just like that everything that Misaki was trying to forget had fallen apart, just like that Misaki were swept away again longing for Usui love more than anytime before, just like that Misaki were thrown into the depth of hell again seduced by the sweetness of the devil himself.

So what's next? will Misaki accept Tora love? or finally give up and get back with Usui again?!

Lets find out in the next chapter :)

.. **To Be Continued** ..

**A/N:**

*** first of all thanks a billion time for reading my story and again I apologize for **

**The very late update *-* I had to take a break sorry *bow***

***Thanks very much for every review, fav, and follow you guys are great :)**

**Umm lets reply quickly to everyone;**

*** sacredstrawberry: here you go! Tora is here x3 sorry for the late update though _**

***imasian: I didn't want to suffer so I updated xD thanks for your compliment :)**

***MC: sorry to keep you waiting :) **

***RED: Usui begging? I'll put that in mind, thanks for reading my story ^^**

***tjw: Tora is here :D By the way Misa chan is an OCC in here :D hope you enjoyed the story ^^**

***na-chan: I loved "punching him till he dies" idea xD haha thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the story :) **

***Scarlet love66 : yup Usui shall suffer ;) maybe :D thanks for your compliment ^^**

***Full of love: thanks for taking your time to review my story :) and I surly don't mind the criticizing too ^^ glad you loved my story and I could only hope it wasn't boring for you :D**

***sweet candy: sorry for being mean xD and sorry for the late update too _ thanks for reading my story :)**

***Scarlet rose86: sorry I can't tell which one Misa chan will end up with! a secret :D thanks for reading my story ^^**

***Love4Dreams: thanks ^^ sorry for making you hurt :) **

***The anon: thank you :) and I do know how it feels too :( *hugs***

***Animerocks: I really want to be an author one day ^^ thank you , you made my life **

***Blommie8: thanks dear for being here :3 sorry if I made you want to cry ^^ and sorry for taking so long to update :)**

***Guest: I'm glad you're enjoying your self :D hope you like this chapter as well ^^**

***Ariella Forverrr: Misa chan is an OCC here so yeah she's weak, thanks for your review :) hope you like this one ^^**

***jennishoujo: thanks for your review :) hope you didn't wait long.**

***PrincessSkylar: thank you :D**

***whointheworldwouldbelievethat: thanks :) hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

***Guest: Takumisa for life too :D but I'm sorry I can't tell who she's going to be with ^^ sorry to keep you waiting for so long ^^**

***Meteorite102: thanks for your review :) happy ending? Lets see about that ^^**

**Jaa .. thanks everyone :) take care see you next time.**


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